This weekend I’ll be riding in the annual Trek Across Maine, and as usual I’ve procrastinated and find myself in need of a few sponsors to help me reach my $500 goal. If you’re wondering why you should contribute to the cause, I’ve outlined several great reasons for you here:
You can donate under funny made-up names like Hugh G. Rection or Kareem O’Weet that will scroll on the homepage of the Trek website
I make great peanut butter sandwiches.
My startlingly attractive and meticulously kept beard.
When I was in fourth grade I got a 115 on a spelling test. 115!! Seriously! Did you even know that was possible?!
Skinny legs. I look ridiculous in spandex. RIDICULOUS.
The American Lung Association is a great organization and it’s a really good cause. If you’re into that kind of thing…